just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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