How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
