Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
did i walk over a car last night?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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