wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
