someone get that fucking seahorse.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
That's how pantless uber rides happen
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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