Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
