she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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