Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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