Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
