did you get engaged???
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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