even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Help me help you realize you are a moron
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
