You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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