I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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