Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
