i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
