Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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