dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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