My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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