Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you traded sex for a burrito?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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