So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
