So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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