I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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