is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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