Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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