i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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