I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
