Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I need to calm my uterus...
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