Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
