I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
