Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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