How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
