So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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