drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
All I want is dick and wine.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
