He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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