Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
