Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize