Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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