you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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