he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize