Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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