Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
