it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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