did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize