She said her name was "party"
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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