he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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