I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
