All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Fuck appropriateness.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
