youre lurking in front of me
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
