Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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