just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
