they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
