I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
