What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
