Heybabeimwearingurpanties
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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