She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
