we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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