id be glad to
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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