We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
she smelled like a LAN party
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
