Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Apparently you make a good broom.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
