i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
honey bunches of taint.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
