I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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