we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
porn star boner night. come get it.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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