this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
