I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
