covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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