just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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