I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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