i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
