It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
