new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
